Is it Worth it to Pay for a Dating Website?

dating websiteOne fateful day about 8 years ago, I got a completely random Facebook message from a total stranger.

The stranger offered to help me learn my way around my college campus after Hurricane Katrina displaced me from another university.

He left his phone number in the message. I thought he was very strange for sending it and perhaps a little bit of a creep. So, of course, four years later I married him.

I often think about what my life would be like without the advent of technology. Would I have met my husband in some other way? Would I have run into him at the grocery store instead of in a Facebook message?

Because of my experience meeting my husband (and many friends and colleagues) online, I’m actually a believer that you can form meaningful relationships through the Internet.

However, I’m not sure that it’s worth it to pay for a dating website subscription. Let’s look at some of the pros and cons.


1. Potential to Meet Your Future Spouse

I find the majority of people who pay for dating websites really are looking for a long term relationship or a spouse. My best friend has subscribed to a few of these sites, and it has allowed her to meet people outside of her small, rural town.

2. Ability to Screen Ahead of Time

When someone sets you up on a blind date, you can’t screen them ahead of time. Online dating allows you to see someone’s pictures, hobbies, and interests. While it can’t weed out everyone who isn’t the best fit for you, it can at least give you an idea of someone’s general background and personality.


1. It’s Very Expensive

If you just wanted to pay for a monthly subscription at two or three of the biggest online dating websites, you could easily spend $100 or more a month. In some ways, the high subscription fees make me feel like this industry is taking advantage of people who want to find love no matter what. In other ways, I feel like the cost is worth it because of the service that the websites provide.

2. You Can’t Get Back Your Time

Many of my friends who have used dating websites talk about how much time they spend fostering these relationships. They spend hours online creating their profiles and searching for suitable dates. Then, they spend the time corresponding ahead of time and then actually going out to eat. If the person they meet isn’t a good fit for them, they can’t get their time back and they likely cannot get their money back either.

Still, all of it would be worth it if you found someone to spend your life with, which is how dating websites remain so popular. If I wasn’t married, I would consider this as an option to meet a future mate especially if I had exhausted all options at my local scene.

Luckily, I got that Facebook message from a stranger and don’t have to worry about whether to sign up or not. 🙂

What do you think? Is it worth it to pay for a dating website?


9 comments on “Is it Worth it to Pay for a Dating Website?

  1. Yes! After almost 6 years of marriage I’d say that was the best $30 I ever spent for a one month subscription to Match. I would have never met my husband “in real life”. I got lucky with meeting him within the first month on the site after about four other dates that didn’t work out. He, on the other hand, tried a few different sites over about two years. I’m pretty sure he’d say the time and effort was worth it :).

  2. He just messaged you out of the blue? That’s amazing. I was on match for a month and it didn’t work out well. The free sites require a lot of sifting through people who aren’t serious. I met my current bf through work (not exciting)- I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t work out, maybe try to get some dating site to sponsor my membership 🙂

  3. I met my husband on Match my second week in my new town. I just moved 1,500 miles and knew no one where I lived. I was looking for new friends and for people to show me around the area. The week after I signed up I did a search of my zip code and saw my husbands profile. I sent him my own e-mail and he responded. We met on the beach to watch a sunset dumming circle and married 6 months later in a beach wedding. We honeymooned in Costa Rica. It has been 2 years and we are still very happy. Prior to this I had always been Extremely unlucky in love and unlucky in life in general. Making that move and then sending that e mail was my way of turning things around and changing my future. I would advise anyone to spend the $30. I don’t know where I would be without having done so.

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  5. Hi my name is Steve. I’m seeking for my soulmate out their… Iv’e been Single for over 7 years. and i have not had any luck at all to find her? It’s not easy finding someone out here, Specialy in LA,

  6. I never will pay a single dime to these kinds of dating sites. They are rip offs, and they try to guarantee something they JUST cannot physically do. eHarmony “guarantees you’ll find a partner” it’s a complete joke. I hate how even when it comes to finding love greedy ass people have to find a way to put a price tag on it and commercialize love. Love should be FREE. You shouldn’t have to spend money to meet people or make friends. It’s not ethical, and it’s not fair.

  7. I’m going to try match I guess. Okcupid is a much better platform than POF, but not as many people use it (at least in my area). It’s been 8 years and it’s been mostly bad experiences. Hopefully there are only people looking for long term because there’s a whole lot of ambiguity and 4 word profiles…my poor biological man clock.

    • I’ve also had no luck on the free dating sites after 8 years. Nobody seems genuine. Many men are looking for ‘services’, are too cheap to fork over $2 for a coffee (let alone dinner), or are married. Many women on there are ‘providing services’, are married, or are making the rest of us women look bad and sending the wrong signals to the male users. It’s such a hot mess. I’m on the verge of paying. At least this way I know whoever I’m talking to might be that serious (or equally on the verge).

  8. Well, my luck on Match has taken a major hit, right into the abyss of “zero dates” after my wife and I divorced I had quite a few. Maybe I need to change my game? Or women assume I should look like Tom Cruise, considering I am 5’7. I am in good shape maybe change my profile? This sucks!

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